Brian Williams raps Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch!
Jay-Z - Picasso Baby
Alright, I know we just started covering Hip Hop. And I know a lot of you are still getting used to reading snark from LC (stemming mostly from myself), but I haven’t received many complaints so imma keep on stoking the fires of my favorite locomotive known formally as “The Pain Train.” Chugga, chugga, chugga, choo ch- OH WHAT THE FUCK HOV.
First and foremost; WHY? Is it just me or have rappers; okay maybe not all rappers mostly just Kanye (See: Masks & A.P.C. Collab) and now Jay, been pulling some Caligula level bullshit. I mean, I’m all for scratching ones catharsis. Who isn’t? Feels pretty great bro. But this gimmick right here is narcissism taken to an extreme. And then when you thought it couldn’t get any more extreme, narcissism goes skydiving and gets even more fucking extreme. This video is the damn X-Games of celebrity opulence. Pyrotechnics and all. God damn it. Before all this went down, this is the type of shit GaGa would pull. WHERE ARE YOU NOW QUEEN G? COME BACK GIRL. WE LOVED HATING YOU.
It was bad enough when we found out MCHG was essentially just a massive data mining operation. Remember this? Tell me you remember this. But a video compiling footage from an event at which you shout at people for 8 hours is not how you recover from that. You apologize and move on. With that being said, solidarity shouts to all the Samsung users who now carry around their own personal tracking devices. Good news guys, you’ll be safe on long hikes now. And if you get Tom Hanks’d on an island somewhere, not to worry, Hova’s got you. Well, that is if Mr. Carter gives a fuck about your locality. Otherwise, tough luck compadre. I feel safer though.
And now on top of actually doing this “performance art” piece, HBO runs a docu-mercial on it? What happened to the Jay-Z I grew up with? The Jay that established himself as a pioneer and visionary? You used to be so real. I guess fame does crazy shit to people. I mean look at J-Biebs; I only saw good things down the road for that kid, now he’s doing coke at Viennese airports with other swagged out dystopian youths. It’s enough to make me type out ‘U-G-H.’
Life’s tough man. We get that. You rose from the concrete rubble and architected a platinum empire. You’ve given back in the form of philanthropy and music. All of which is impressive but this shit, naw. I understand it’s your job to sell records but Mr. Carter, you would have made fun of shit like this 15 years ago. And that’s the real truth.
I just want my hero back.
And maybe a new phone.
I mostly disagree w/ this post.
Too cynical and one sided for my liking. He does little to support his position. It’s well written and funny at but could’ve been summed up by saying.
1. “I don’t like it”
2. “This isn’t art”
3. “What gives him the right” and
4. “hov didn’t do this before”
Basically sums up the post.
However, I did enjoy reading this diatribe about what’s wrong with Hov…enough to repost it.
Cool story bro..a wise rapper once said “you can’t knock the hustle”
That solitary 1985 building was the Toyota Forerunner.
OMFG. I actually have a yellow Jeep Wrangler (…35” tires and 6” Sky Jacker lift… ahem). But my husband might kill me if I did this…
Made by Linda aka crochetingfool